Birthday Bunco Book Beach Bash!

Birthday Bunco Book Beach Bash..
I dare you say that fast 3 times in a row.

Yeah, I'm not even going there.

Last night, my Bunco group, the fabulous Bunco Broads of Tallahassee threw me a private book signing! It was our regular Bunco night plus Melissa's birthday, so we celebrated everything up in grand style. Isn't my cake gorgeous? Melissa hosted the soiree and I have to say, it was one of our finest Bunco moments ever. I felt like a rock star!

My title!

Okay, after getting some hits on my title from a couple of reviewers (inane? fatuous? really?) someone out there thinks my title is top crazy catchy!

Stephanie Giancola of Examiner.com picks

Bunco Babes Tell All by Maria Geraci – If the babes had “babbled” this title would have won the alliteration of the month award. As it is there’s intrigue in a “what’s a bunco babe anyway?” kind of way. My murky notion of bunco, a very a-typical romance novel word—and the notion that the babes have some “All” to tell—gives the title a spark of “hmmm” that would make me pick it up.

Here's the complete article:

http://www.examiner.com/x-2533-Romance-Novel-Examiner~y2009m5d5-Top-crazy-catchy-romance-novel-titles-for-May-2009

Oh, And I'm blogging today at Fresh Fiction where I'll be giving away, yes, one more of those autographed books!

Debut Day!

So this day will only ever happen once to me. It's the first day my first book comes out! To celebrate I'm giving away 5 autographed copies to 5 random members who sign up for my newsletter. It's easy to do. Just click on the link on the sidebar here in my blog or go to the contact page on my website. The giveaway will end this Saturday.

Another way you can get a freebie is to comment on my interview at Bookin with Bingo. That give away goes till 5/15.

And if you want to make sure you get a copy of Bunco Babes Tell All, then all you have to do is order it, OR better yet, go to a bookstore today and buy it (I really love that last part). They should have it. And if not, demand to know why not!

Tomorrow!

No, I'm not channeling Annie. Although I do feel like singing. My debut novel, Bunco Babes Tell All debuts tomorrow. And I'm feeling pretty excited about it.

Tomorrow will be the culmination of 7 years of hard work. Although I have to say, writing for me isn't work (although it is hard). Rather it's the fruits of a very joyful labor. I can't even remember now what my life was like before I started writing. Which means, if technically, my life started when I began writing, then I'm only 7 years old. He he...

This is going to be a busy week for me. Look for lots of updates. My website should be getting a mini overhaul. My Louisville Bunco Mommas will be replaced with a group from Jacksonville called Divas with Dice. Great name, huh? (but that's a post for another day). The Divas sent me a recipe for jello shooters which I'm gleefully looking forward to trying. You can try it too. It'll be on my Let's Play Bunco! page. Look for it soon!

My first Author "talk"

Today I'm giving my first real speech as an author. Nervous? Nah. Well, maybe a little. I'm speaking to the Tallahassee Rotary Club. My friend and fellow Bunco Broad, Carrie, set it up.

When she first approached me, I thought, what the heck am I going to say to the Rotary Club? I'm a romance writer, not a business person.

This past week spent at RT definitely showed me how wrong I was there. Writing IS a business. And to succeed, you not only have to have a good product, you have to know how to market it and yourself.

So I thought I'd give my speech today on perseverance and overcoming rejection. Those are 2 topics any writer can talk about at length. Maybe even for days. Right?

So wish me luck. I'll leave you with this little ditty I found while surfing the net.

"This girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the curiosity level."

No, that isn't more reviews of Bunco Babes Tell All from Publishers Weekly. It's an editorial quote about a book that was rejected 16 times before Doubleday finally bought it in 1952. Today, there are over 30 million copies of it in print making it one of the best selling books in history, as well as required reading in many high schools. It's "The Diary of Anne Frank."

Bunco Babes Bash!

So... Thursday at RT finally rolls around, and it's time for my Bunco Babes Bash. It's the main reason I'm here at the Romantic Times Convention and I've been nervously preparing for weeks now. Will anyone come? And if they do come, will they learn how to play Bunco in just a few minutes? And will they like it?

There was no need to worry. The whole thing was a smashing success (if I do say so myself!) These ladies (and 1 guy) were fantastic. I'll definitely be doing this again soon.

Evil Editor vs John Grisham

I'm interrupting my RT blog posts to bring you this link to Book Roast's John Grisham interview. If you haven't discovered Book Roast, it's a great site. My own book is scheduled to be sliced, diced and served on May 15. Should be tasty!

Back Home Again

So, I'm back from the Romantic Times Convention. A good time was defintely had by me. And I think by all I was around as well.

At the moment, my house is a complete mess. It's filled with the remnants of RT- all the leftover stuff from my Bunco Bash (which I'm happy to say was a complete success!) as well as an assortment of this and that and a huge bag of dirty laundry. Today is catch up day. I'm going to put everything away, go to the grocery store and do some revisions on my proposal for Bunco Babes Back in Action so that I can send them off to my lovely agent this week.

As for my RT adventures, I'm going to have them dole them out bit by bit, because really, the whole experience was so... big that I can't blog about it in just one day. So here goes...

RT Day One- Tuesday (before the conference even begins...)
Having met up with Mel the evening before, caught up on our talking, discovered that NO you really can't get internet in your hotel room despite Wyndham personnel assuring me that you can, I get a decent night's sleep. Mel takes off to spend the day with an old high school chum and I go off to explore my surroundings. I get to the convention center and it's in full chaos mode. Jo Carol, the RT conference coordinator is orchestrating a room full of women who are stuffing bags full of various goodies- T-shirts, pens, cups, bookmarks, etc... This is all making me very nervous. Did I bring enough promotional items? Probably not...

I introduce myself to Jo Carol. Despite the fact that she's extremely busy, she is very gracious and offers to take me to her office so she can get me a list of the number of people who have RSVP'd to my party as well as provide me a schematic of the room. While waiting for Jo Carol I meet Pat Simmons (another extremely gracious lady) who besides being an author, apparently acts as a media liaison for RT. Her exact role confuses me, but she's looking for authors to do a TV promo in the morning. I practically jump up and down. But she's looking for an angle. She wants to present an international theme to the media. One author standing next to me has come from Egypt. The other one from Canada. "Where are you from?" she asks me. "Um, north Florida," I say brightly. This does not impress Pat. "By way of Cuba," I offer. Nope. Doesn't impress her either. "Do you have a costume?" she asks. I can barely shake my head no. "Well, show up anyway," she says cheerfully.

I vow not to let Pat down. I WILL get on TV, damn it. No matter what.

So I get in my car and lo and behold, there's a costume shop across the street! Imagine that. These people have no idea there's a virtual gold mine of costume lovin' customers just a few hundred yards away. I run inside and ask the sales clerk if she has any fuzzy dice hats. Now, of course I have access to the most perfect fuzzy dice hat in the world. But where is it? Yep, you guessed. It's in Tallahassee, Florida. Why didn't I bring it? No matter. Can't cry about spilled milk now. The sales clerk frowns at me. She has no fuzzy dice hats.

I glance around the shop. There's this big pink fuzzy looking thing hanging from the ceiling. My eyes bug out. "I'll take the pimp hat!"

"Pimp hat?" she responds weakly.

"Yep, the pimp hat," I say.

She gets a ladder and pulls it down and then starts to laugh. "You're right," she says, pointing to the sales label on the hat. "It says 'pimp hat'.

I nod. I know a pimp hat when I see one. So I buy it. Along with these very cool looking zebra print sunglasses. I'm all set now for my morning TV slot. After all, what can upstage my pimp hat?

I'll tell you what can upstage my pimp hat. A singing mermaid and 3 pirates. Yep. The following morning I walk into the welcome breakfast where a crowded room is all staring at a woman in mermaid costume singing soprano. The pirates surrounding her are apparently her entourage. I giggle and simultaneously curse myself. My camera is back in my hotel room. No one is going to believe this.

After breakfast, I run to the lobby to meet Pat and the media. There must be at least 2 dozen other authors, most in costume. But no one has a pimp hat. Ha! So we all file into a room, where to my horror, I discover the singing mermaid and her pirate entourage. They too, are going to be on TV. So the media people want the mermaid splayed across this table, her pirate-lovers around her, and the rest of us are to file in to fill in the picture.

If you watch closely enough, you'll get a split second shot of my pimp hat somewhere in the back of the group shot. I'm somewhere underneath that hat. Click on Video: RT Booklovers Convention.

http://www.cfnews13.com/Entertainment/HeyJohn/2009/4/23/romantic_times_booklovers_convention.html

Romantic Times Book Club Convention here I come!

CHAPTER ONE: PREPARATIONS AND GETTING THERE

After spending the weekend putting together little goodie bags, packing (and semi-panicking because I felt totally unprepared for RT, despite the fact that I've known I would be going for at least 6 months), I woke up bright and early Monday morning and set off to my monthly visit with Krystal at Red Hots. Krystal is the lovely chick who does my hair. Normally, I would never wait to get my roots done the day I'm leaving to go on a trip, but Krystal got married last week and was off work for awhile (as in right in the middle of my root touch up cycle). But I toughed it out and got Krytal's first appointment Monday morning on her first day back from her honeymoon.

Roots touched up- check!

While the dye was in my hair she also managed to wax my eyebrows, my upper lip, AND give me a quickie manicure. (I clearly need to learn something from Krystal's time management skills)

Hair from upper lip- Gone!
Bushy eyebrows shaped up- check!
manicure- check!

After my morning at Red Hots, I then detoured to the mail store, where I sent out the last of my ARCS for Bunco Babes Tell All and rush home, ready to get on the road. But then I realize that if I left right away I'd be getting into Orlando at the height of rush hour traffic. I-4 at rush hour is not a place I want to be, so I decided a power nap was in store. This is a firm rule of mine. If the opportunity for a mid-day nap presents itself, I never turn it down. Good thing, too. I needed all my strength just to load up my car. Thank God I have a mini-van. Honestly, I don't know where I would have put all this stuff. Most of it is for my Bunco Babes Bash, but still, if I was flying, I'd be in big trouble (because believe me, I wouldn't have shipped off this stuff to the hotel in time. I know I just wouldn't have).


After an uneventful drive, I get into the Wyndham Convention Center around 8:30. It was perfect timing. No heavy traffic on I-4. The tourists, however, are a different story. There's plenty of them crawling along the sidewalks of International Drive, so I take extra precautions and slow down. Because running someone over would be the sure way to ruin my first RT trip. You know?

Orlando tourists safe from Maria's car- check!

The convention center is huge. It could be Orlando's next theme park. You need a golf cart just to get to your room. Luckily, I have my own car. So the woman at the desk gives me a map to find my way around. I get lost twice (yes, twice) just trying to find the friggin building that houses my room. In my normal everyday life, I average getting lost at least once a day. And this is in a city I've lived in for 12+ years. So this does not bode well for me already...

I get to my room, where Mel has already put first dibs on the bed by the window, which is fine with me, cuz that means I get the bed closest to the bathroom (he he). We hug and jump around for a bit and marvel that we haven't seen each other since August. Talking daily just doesn't cut it. We vow then that one of us must hit the New York Times and make a mint so that we can afford a beach house retreat.

Vow to hit New Times List- done!

After this, we head to the pool bar and get something to eat, then go back to our room. We're both pretty wiped out (despite my power nap) and it's lights out by midnight.

I suspect the rest of the week won't go that way.

Tomorrow: Meeting the media (I'm determined this will happen, and I'll explain how), and my first club RT.

One Smart Hot Dog

As I'm running around trying to get everything ready to go to RT tomorrow, I thought I'd take a little break and post this for your enjoyment. The dog in this video is Totys, Truffles' mother. Not only did she give birth to an awesome little dog, she's one perrita salchicha inteligente (that's one smart hot dog!). Totys's mother works with my husband. In case you need some translation, cerveza = beer!

I need a Not So Secret Frozen Margarita

So after Kristen's blog yesterday on how bigger isn't always better, what do I do? Post a super long blog! But I think I can be forgiven because I haven't blogged all week and half the post is really just a recipe, so here goes:

I know I've blogged about this before. I must have. Because honestly, these pomegranate margaritas are simply the best. Mary, a friend and fellow Bunco Broad, served these up at our December Bunco last year. They were a huge hit. Absolutely delicious. I loved them so much I made them at Christmas time (perfect with the red color!) and I made them for my friend Beth's wedding shower (whose wedding I'm going to today. Yay!)

In my Bunco Babes series, one of my characters, Shea Masterson, has a secret frozen margarita recipe she doesn't share with anyone (it's so secret, even I don't know it).

But I digress. I'm not as selfish as Shea. I will gladly share this awesome recipe (which, by the way, comes from Southern Living- the mecca of all that's holy in my book)

NOT SO SECRET POMEGRANATE FROZEN MARGARITAS

Yield
about 32 cups
Ingredients
6 cups white tequila
12 cups water
4 cups cranberry juice cocktail
2 cups pomegranate juice (we tested with POM)*
1 1/2 cups Triple Sec
2 (10-ounce) cans frozen margarita mix, thawed
2 (11.5-ounce) cans frozen cranberry juice cocktail, thawed and undiluted
2 (12-ounce) cans frozen limeade concentrate, thawed and undiluted
Light corn syrup
Coarse sparkling sugar

Preparation
Combine first 8 ingredients in a very large plastic container. Cover and freeze at least 24 hours or until slushy.
Pour a small amount of corn syrup onto a flat plate. Pour coarse sugar onto another plate. Dip rims of margarita glasses in corn syrup; dip each glass into sugar. Pour margaritas into prepared glasses.
Freezer Note: For more convenient storage, divide Pomegranate Margaritas among zip-top freezer bags.
*Find pomegranate juice year-round in the produce section of your local grocery store.
Kelley Wilton, Christmas With Southern Living 2006, Oxmoor House, JUNE 2006

Maria's note: the coarse sugar/corn syrup rim for your glass is the best!

I must admit to having a secret stash of this luscious drink. The last time I made them, I had some leftover so I placed it in a large zip lock storage bag in my freezer. Thank God. Because I needed me some margarita tonight. This past week has been incredibly busy and stressful. I worked at the hospital the past 3 nights and it's been uber crazy. Has everyone in Tallahassee given birth over the past 3 days? Sure seems like it. To top that off, I've been trying to get everything ready for my Romantic Times Convention Bunco Bash. Thank God I'm now off for 2 weeks and can concetrate on the rest of my life. So I sat down tonight and watched about 4 hours of TV I'd DVR'd, including my fix of American Idol.

And to that, can I just say, WHAT THE HELL is America thinking??? I cannot believe they voted Matt off! I just don't get it. I mean, yes, I love Adam and Danny and Allison, but honestly. How Lil and Anoop (as loveable as Anoop is) are still there is beyond me. Thank God the judges had the sense to override the vote. For the first time ever, they saved a contestant and Matt will be back! Bad news is 2 contestants will have to go home next week. But I don't care. If the judges's save will give me one more week of Matt, then so be it. Maybe he can make a come back. All I know is, ever since I heard him sing "Georgia" back in Hollywood week, he's been my favorite.

So after all the drama of Simon pretending that Matt was going home and Paula and Randy and Kara begging Simon to keep Matt, I had to chug down some pomegranate margarita. Yay for zip lock storage bags!

Next Tuesday, I'll be in Orlando at the Romantic Times Convention. But wherever I am at the time, you can be sure when it comes time to vote, I'll be whipping that cell phone out and putting in my vote for Matt.

Easter!

As a kid, I adored Easter. It was an end to 40 days of usually no candy, no chocolate and it meant we could go back to watching TV on Fridays (my parents were strict Catholics- no meat, no TV, no FUN at all on Fridays during Lent!) Plus, there was that huge Easter basket full of goodies to munch down on.

Easter as an adult, however, has a totally different meaning. If there's one religious holiday that gets me choked up, this is it. It's redemption, celebration and hope all rolled into one. It's the answer to what happens next. Life's big sequel.

Today, we'll wake up, the kids will check out their Easter goodies (yep, I still do that, even though they're all WAY past the age of believing in the Easter Bunny), go to mass and have a huge family dinner and laze around the house. Then at 8pm we'll tune in for tonight's episode of Extreme Makeover which features the Kadzis family- Tallahassee locals, as well as a concert by Stevie Wonder. I've got my box of Kleenex all ready.

Hope your day is just as beautiful!

I'm in LOVE

Yesterday, I thought a girl's best friend was her vibrator. Lest you think I came up with that line, let me tell you I didn't. It's the fist line of Mel Francis's fabulous book, SIZE ME UP (which will be published one day because it's simply too damn good not to be). But I digress.


I'm here to tell you that a girl's best friend is not the vibrator but the Cricut. Take a look at that baby below. It slices. It dices. It does just about everything except, well, you know...

Honestly, it's a blast. It cuts out anything you program it to. Or rather, have a pattern for. As you can see above, my dice look perfectly beautiful. The Cricut belongs to my friend Andrea who uses it for everything. Party favors and games, kid's projects, invitations, stationary, bulletin boards, scrap booking... You name it. The Cricut does it.

So when I told her I had to do a backdrop for my promotional space at RT (Romantic Times Book Convention), Andrea volunteered to help me out. Think of those big background posters you did for your 8th grade science project. Only this one involves dice and romance novels.

Here's the finished product below. I think it turned out fabulous! I think in total, I ended up cutting out at least a hundred dice. Because you never know when you'll need some cardboard dice. Right?

A real live book!

Yesterday, I found this on my doorstep.


Actually, it came in a large envelope from Penguin Group, USA (those 3 words start my heart racing), but you know what I mean. What a thrill it was to actually hold my book in my hands!

I feel like Geppetto from Pinocchio.

It's a real live book!

Complete with a cover and cover quote and other fabulous reviews and such. It was so exciting to see my book for the first time. An ARC with a blank cover just isn't the same thing. And while my cover looked fabulous on the computer, it's nothing like seeing the real thing. The colors all blend so beautifully into the back. There's even footprints on the sand (although I'm not sure you can see that in the pic). I love it!

And then to make my day complete, Barbara Vey's WW Book Club reviewed my book. Here's the link from PW: http://www.publishersweekly.com/blog/880000288/post/1630042763.html?nid=3383

Here's what Heidi had to say about Bunco Babes Tell All:
"This book had everything for me, sex, romance, laughter, and even a slight mystery, but as they say: "What happens at bunco, stays at bunco!!"

Yay!

Maria hears the clock tick...

For a couple of weeks now I've been struggling (procrastinating) with this little Suessical book I volunteered to write to benefit my daughter's high school drama organization. In case you're not familiar with Suessical! it's a wonderful musical based on the books of Dr. Suess. Mostly "Horton hears a Who!" but there are other Suess characters thrown in for good measure, like the Cat in the Hat, and the Grinch, and Gertrude McFuzz, and so on. My youngest daughter is heavily involved in musical theater and she played Gertrude (the bird with the one feather tail) in her high school's production of the show a couple of weeks ago. She was awesome. The whole production was. It was definitely a proud parent moment:) My parents came up to see the show and they were completely awed!

Lest you think this should be a piece of cake, let me assure you, it's not. I have a totally brand new respect for Dr. Suess. Do you know how hard it is to write in rhyme??

On the seventh of April, in her desk in Tallahassee,
Maria discovered she wasn't so sassy...

I'll get it done! I promise, said she,
Nothing will stop me, not elephant nor flea...

Contest!

In celebration of my upcoming book release (33 days left, but who's counting?) I'm running a contest over at Fresh Fiction. The winner gets this lovely Bunco game and an autographed copy of my debut book, Bunco Babes Tell All. Go check it out here: Maria Geraci's Bunco Bash.

Ouch

I did something funky to my back. It must have happened Monday night while I was working (probably when I delivered that baby on the stretcher). I came home Tuesday morning as usual and went to bed. I woke up at 3 and my back was in a spasm. I thought at the time that it was a message from Aunt Flo, telling me to get ready, because of course she'd come to visit 2 days before we hit the beach. So I took 800 mg of Motrin (yes, it's safe, believe me) and laid back down. Two hours later, I couldn't move. Clearly, this wasn't a case of mean Aunt Flo. So I had to call in sick to work and take a Flexoril. Two hours after that I was sound asleep. I think I slept for 12 hours straight. Might be a world record for me.

Unfortunately, my sore back isn't the only ouchie in my life. To make matters worse, I found this review from Publisher's Weekly in my inbox:

Bunco Babes Tell All Maria Geraci. Berkley, $14 paper (336p) ISBN 9780425227589

A north Florida realtor with an abysmal romantic history continues her quest for a suitable man in Geraci’s formulaic debut. Kitty Burke is the only single gal in her circle of friends who get together every week to gossip, play dice and drink. But then she meets Steve, a plumber and multiple divorcé who seems like a horrible Mr. Right, but an excellent Mr. Right Now. As Kitty’s personal life heats up, her professional life does, too: she is offered a chance to broker a new condo development, something that will be very unpopular in her town, but very good for her pocketbook. Things, however, are not as they seem, in love or business. While genre fans will feel at home with Kitty, who is attractive, somewhat successful and, like her pals, full of quirks, her story is woefully unoriginal. This disposable diversion’s good for a few laughs, but not much more. (May)

I mean, ouch and double ouch! I've had a couple of pretty awesome reviews for my book and I knew that chances were, I'd have a couple of bad ones too because it's part of the business, but I have to say, this one really hurt. Publishers Weekly is a highly respected magazine and although they're not always romance friendly, I was hoping for something a bit better. The part about "good for a few laughs" did ease the sting some. I mean, do you know how hard it is make people laugh?

But wait.

I read it again. And again. And then something occurred to me.

Things, however, are not as they seem.

Was this some sort of hidden message? Was I missing something here? So I read it a few hundred times more. And that's when I saw it. The real review! How did I miss it the first time around? I've highlighted the words the reviewer put in secret code so you could see what I mean.

A north Florida realtor with an abysmal romantic history continues her quest for a suitable man in Geraci’s formulaic debut. Kitty Burke is the only single gal in her circle of friends who get together every week to gossip, play dice and drink. But then she meets Steve, a plumber and multiple divorcé who seems like a horrible Mr. Right, but an excellent Mr. Right Now. As Kitty’s personal life heats up, her professional life does, too: she is offered a chance to broker a new condo development, something that will be very unpopular in her town, but very good for her pocketbook. Things, however, are not as they seem, in love or business. While genre fans will feel at home with Kitty, who is attractive, somewhat successful and, like her pals, full of quirks, her story is woefully unoriginal. This disposable diversion’s good for a few laughs, but not much more.

Let me put the secret code words together to show you the real review:

Geraci's debut is excellent. Genre fans will feel at home with Kitty, who is attractive, somewhat successful and, like her pals, full of quirks. This very good diversion's good for laughs!

I'm feeling much better now, despite the fact that I'm still walking like an old woman. I just have to be careful with my back for the next few days and keep repeating my favorite quote for Bunco Babes Tell All: Jennifer's roommate's mother loved it!

So there.

Louisville Bunco Mommas!

Aren't they fabulous? The Louisville Bunco Mommas are the first group (outside my own) to be featured on my "Let's Play Bunco!" page.

Last month when my website went live I put out a call to Bunco groups across the country to see if they wanted to be featured on my website. One of my first contacts back was Rachel Wintringham, one of the members of the Bunco Mommas (love that name)

Go check them out. There's a fabulous recipe for Chicken enchilada salad that sounds absolutely yummy.

Louisville Bunco Momma tip: Do not take Bunco or life too seriously! You can learn a lot from Bunco, and the most important life lesson is to roll with the dice, but always make it fun!

Awesome philosophy, ladies!

Blog pimpage

Today's starting out busy.

There's so much blogage going on out there, I thought instead of writing a new post I'd share the goodies.

First, there's my group blog Title Wave. The blog has an entirely new look and concept. Go check it out. We're talking about the best way to back up files.

Then, there's the Knight Agency Blog. Secret Agent 24/7 is going to answer publishing questions today.

And last but not least, go read Mel's interview over at In Bed with Books.

Enjoy!

I see Lawn Boys...

Mel called me this morning to tell me she had a dream that Berkley had changed the title of my book to Bunco Babes Go Mowing.

All I could do was laugh. Especially because Naughty Kate emailed me last night to tell me that RT had reviewed my book. I got 3 stars! It's not the awesome 5 cups of coffee I received from Coffee Time Romance or the 4.75 I got from Night Owl Romance (2 obviously very smart reviewers there...) But I'm very happy with it. Heck, they gave one of my favorite books Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin 3 stars too, so I think that puts me in some pretty illustrious company. But what cracked me up the most about Mel's dream was how it coincided with this tidbit from the RT review:

The first novel in Geraci's Bunco Babes series really enforces the importance of friendship between women, despite a somewhat fatuous title. Kitty, the heroine, is not the most complex character, but she shows heart and sensitivity.

I admit I had to look up the word "fatuous." I had a rough idea of what it meant, but I needed a (cough) reminder. Here's what Dictionary.com said:

FATUOUS /ˈfætʃuəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [fach-oo-uhs] Show IPA
–adjective
1.
foolish or inane, esp. in an unconscious, complacent manner; silly.
2.
unreal; illusory.

Louisa wondered what RT would have made of the book's original title, The Church of Bunco.And I can only imagine what they would have made of Bunco Babes Go Mowing.

I have to admit that title is growing on me.

I'm seeing lawn boys. Lots of bare-chested, well-muscled, sweaty lawn boys. Now I just need a plot...

"My roommate's mother loved it!"

Can I just say I really really love that quote and wish I could use it for a book blurb?

It came from the lovely Jennifer, the youngish twenty-something reporter who interviewed me for the upcoming May/June issue of Tallahassee Magazine. I gave her an ARC (advanced reader copy) and she emailed me back to say that while, she hadn't read it yet (insert Maria smirk here) she'd loaned it to her roommate's mother who is a Bunco player and that said mother loved it and read it in one day. Needless to say, I was thrilled. Go Jennifer's roommate's mother!

It's just so weird for me to think that people beyond my critique partners, agent, editor and mother are actually reading my book.

Here's a link to another review. This one is from Night Owl Romance. I got a 4.75 out of 5! And I I DO intend to put the following quote somewhere. "This book was awesome." Yep. She's talking about me. Or rather, my book.

This is almost better than Bunco Cupcakes!

Bunco Cupcakes!

Are these not the coolest ever? These scrumpilicious looking cupcakes come from Two Parts Sugar a site I can see myself getting sweetly attached to. I have Elen to thank for bringing these to my attention. I must confess, when Elen first sent me to Cupcakes Take the Cake (another awesome site) I wasn't paying attention to the actual picture (I'm currently at my parent's house in central Florida for a less than 24 hour stay in order to attend a memorial mass for the mother of a dear friend of mine). I'd just sat down after a 5 hour drive and was multi-tasking- checking my email and talking to my mother at the same time, so I bookmarked the site. Then Elen commented back, "did you see those Bunco cupcakes?"

What? Bunco cupcakes? I quickly went back to the site and saw that yes, indeed, they were Bunco cupcakes. How on earth did I miss that?

Thank you Elen and Two Parts Sugar for bringing a HUGE smile to my face on what was otherwise, a very sad day for me.

Another reason to love cupcakes. They make you smile!

Bookmarks and Cupcakes!

It's less than 2 months to the release of Bunco Babes Tell All and I'm getting pretty psyched. Yesterday, I received my bookmarks. They look fabulous, don't they? I stuck one up on the cork board above my desk in my closet so that I can stare at it as I write. I know, pretty goober of me, but there you go. Little things get me going!

And talking about little things... I know I'm late joining the craze. But I just can't seem to get enough cupcakes in my life. Last month, at my cousin's Big Fat Cuban Baby Shower, instead of a cake, they served gourmet cupcakes.

Isn't that gorgeous? And they were to-die-for cupcakes. Chocolate with a creamy filling inside and smoothest, most delicious frosting you can imagine. Yummy.

Since I'm the Queen of showers (bridal, baby, you name it... all my co-workers are constantly getting married or pregnant), I'm always finding myself in the middle of helping host a party. This Saturday I have 2 bridal showers to go to. One I'm attending as a guest, and one I'm co-hosting. Instead of cake, I'm doing cupcakes. I'm not actually baking the cupcakes this time (I'm having them done by the fabulous Tasty Pastry.But one of my goals this year is mastering the art of the gourmet cupcake. I found this awesome cupcake stand online at Target. Unfortunately, I don't have time to order it, and my local Target carried a smaller version that only holds 13 cupcakes. So I bought 3 of them. I going to decorate the sides with flowers, etc.. so it will be serve as a centerpiece as well as a dessert holder. I'm hoping the whole thing will turn out fabulous. I'll let you know!

Is Big Brother watching me? or why am I turned on by leather holsters?

So, in lieu of my great belief in conspiracy theories, I have another little mouse (not a squirrel, mind you, it's definitely a mouse) running around in my head that tells me that someone is always out there listening, watching and reading. You just have to watch Enemy of the State with the brilliant Will Smith (love Will) to never want to use your cell phone or log into a computer ever again.

Last night I was up late writing (one of my best writing times) and I needed some information about a gun. In my wip, my hero (Zeke Grant, police chief of Whispering Bay- love Zeke too) is wearing one of those sexy leather shoulder holsters with a gun tucked inside.

Okay, short break from the topic here, but is it just me or are there other women out there that get turned on by the sight of a guy (preferably a cop/good guy) wearing one of those leather holsters? The minute I gave Zeke a leather holster, my heart began to pound. Just typing the word "Glock" gave me a thrill. I kid you not. And I am not a gun girl. Despite my many conservative views, I am firmly in favor of strict gun control.

So, instead of writing, I got distracted and started to think of other visual cues that did it for me. A black tuxedo (shaken, not stirred), Vampire fangs (hello? Almost any vampire. Except for those creepy ones from 30 Days of Night). Guy with a leather holster (any sexy cop you can think of).

I remember reading once that if you wanted to make your hero instantly appealing, just give him a gun. I never really understood that until now. Even the whiny guy from Bones looks kind of hot in his leather holster.

If short skirts and stilettos do it for men, I can have my little leather holster thing going, right?

I might have to take back the tux thing. I honestly can't tell you which of these is nicer...

Okay, back on topic. So, since I am clueless about guns, I start googling things like "how to carry a concealed weapon", and before you know it, I've hit some of the most bizarre sites you'd ever want to encounter. Very creepy. But I couldn't stop. And then it occurred to me. Cripes. What if Big Brother is watching? What if I get put on some "lunatics to watch out for" list or something? With that lovely thought, I turned off my computer and finally went to bed. If I don't blog for a couple of days, send someone out to find me...

In which Maria Steals Mel's Blog to wish her a Happy Birthday

I felt so deliciously sneaky doing it, that I might just do it again one day. And soon.

Happy Birthday, Mel!

Book Giveaway!

For all you readers out there (and I hope that's a LOT) are you a member of Goodreads?

It's a free site dedicated to all things BOOKS. You can write your own reviews, read other's reviews, hook up with your favorite authors, see what your friends are reading, join virtual bookclubs and even sign up for free book giveaways. This month in honor of my upcoming debut I'm giving away 2 ARCS for Bunco Babes Tell All.

Once you're a member, you can sign up in the Giveaways section under Books.

Eat your heart out, Samantha. Naked Guy can dance!

That's right. Not only can Naked Guy act (do not snicker) but he can also dance! Last night was the premiere of Dancing with The Stars, and honestly, as much as I love the show, I had no idea with the exception of Belinda Carlisle (I was a huge Go Go's fan in the 80's) who this season's *stars* were. So imagine my surprise when Sex and the City's Gilles Marini shows up with Cheryl as his partner. Talk about some serious heat. He was outstanding. He was hot. He was sexy. He was gorgeous. He was... well, you get it. The judges also agreed. He got the top score last night. Cheryl was worried that Naked Guy didn't have a large enough (cough) fan base. Is she for real? I predict Naked Guy and Cheryl will have a long and prosperous season.

So... the show was moving along and I was still reeling from watching Naked Guy do his thing, when the host Tom Bergeron announces there will be a secret surprise star, because one of the stars hurt herself during practice last week (on a side note- this show is becoming more dangerous than an NFL football game for injuries) and she had to be replaced on 2 day's notice. They keep building this up and building this up and then suddenly they announce it's Melissa from The Bachelor! Yee haw! The audience goes wild. Maybe even wilder than when Naked Guy danced, because it appears that like me, a lot of America has fallen in love with Melissa. At this point, I get on the phone with my friend Terri and we spend the next hour rehashing the Melissa/Jason debacle and how thrilled we are that Melissa is on the show.

Ordinarily, I hate the girl who cries a lot, and believe me, Melissa was one wet Bachelorette. The only person who cried more on the show was Jason. But her tears always seemed genuine. Whether The Bachelor people gave her a great edit or she's just a great girl, I bought into it. She wore her heart on her sleeve and I just found her so dang adorable. And now she's back! And boy, can she dance. She came in second in points only to Naked Guy. And she only had 2 days to rehearse. Even her "official" DWTS bio pic is a cropped picture of her and Tony b/c they haven't had time to pose for one yet. I'm also loving that Tony has a great partner in Melissa. The last 2 seasons he'd had aging divas with no rhythm (Susan Lucci and Jane Seymour) for partners and the guy deserves better.

I do have to add, however, that I got a bit uncomfortable listening to the Jason bashing. Even Bruno called him a big Loser. Not that the guy doesn't deserve it, but it's over. With Melissa on DWTS, maybe we can get some closure on the whole mess. I say, let the healing process begin. Oh, and let's all vote to keep Naked Guy on the show.

To the squirrel who ate my hamburger...

It's been over four decades, but I've decided to finally forgive you.

When I was four, my mother took my sister and I to McDonald's, which at the time, was a big deal. My parents had only emigrated to the US from Cuba a few years earlier and money was still very tight. I hated catsup and mustard back then (I know, total brat) and my hamburgers had to be ordered "plain" which meant my mother had to wait the few extra minutes it took to cook it, etc. It was a beautiful sunny day, so we went outside to the few picnic tables in the back of the restaurant. The tables were surrounded by large trees. Which, of course, means there are rats with furry tails, I mean, squirrels in the vicinity. I swear, I only put my hamburger down for a couple of seconds while I ran off to play. Those couple of seconds were all it took for some giant meat-eating squirrel to come along and whisk my burger off. Right in front of my four-year-old eyes.

I learned a valuable lesson that day.

Never trust a squirrel.

So when my friend Terri sent me these pictures of Finnegan the Squirrel, I was extremely suspicious at first. Sure, Finnegan looks friendly enough. But then, who really knows what's inside a squirrel's heart? I kept going back to the pics, trying really hard not to smile. In the end, I gave up. Okay, maybe not ALL squirrels are bad. Maybe not even the squirrel who stole my hamburger that day so very long ago. Maybe he was just hungry.

What if no one likes my book?

Yesterday it occurred to me that my book comes out in exactly 2 months. In just 60 days someone can walk into BAM or Borders or Barnes & Noble and go to the counter and pick it up, and I have to tell you, it's a pretty frightening thought.

Remember this line of dialogue from Sleepless in Seattle?

Meg Ryan character: "It's like that dream where you suddenly look around and you're naked."
Rosie O'Donnell character (sighing): "I love that dream."

Yeah, well, I don't.

Not that I ever recall having the naked dream, but I've definitely had the naked daydream. This is the one where you imagine yourself going into the bookstore and overhear two people saying, "Well, that book sucked!" And you realize that they're talking about your book.

In the course of the past year I've had the "what's your book about?" question more times than I can recall. And I always respond something like this, "Well, it's about this group of women in a small town in north Florida who play Bunco." This either gets a smile or the inevitable, "what's bunco?" question. And then I say something to the extent of, "It's kind of like women's fiction, but not. I mean, no one dies or has breast cancer or anything, so it's sort of light and fluffy..." and I go and on until I usually get embarrassed and change the subject. Because, really, who wants to listen to someone go on and on about their book?

And then something else occurred to me last night too (call it my post-Bunco epiphany).

I have to get over it.

Because let's face it, no matter how funny, charming, sexy, etc, my mother, critique partners, editor, agent, etc. think my book is, there will be people out there who will think it sucks because that's just the nature of life. Some people will love it, some will think it's merely okay, and some won't like it at all. And I'm going to have to learn to be okay with that. I didn't set out wanting to be the next Maeve Binchy. I can only be myself and write what comes naturally to me.

So, what's my book about?

It's about this group of women who play Bunco in north Florida, and yes, there's sex in the first fifty pages (because let's face it, people do have sex), and it's funny and light, and part of the conflict revolves around a missing pair of thong underwear and this evil land developer who wants to build condos on the beach, and... Well, you get it?

Bachelor Conspiracy Theory part 2

This photo comes from screen caps taken during the January premiere of The Bachelor to hype us all up. So, my question is this: Who the hell is the chick in the blue dress? Is even Jason capable of proposing to 3 different women in less than a year? First, there was DeAnna, then Melissa, then blue dress chick. I think blue dress chick is actually Melissa (whose dress last night was clearly yellow) but the dress has been altered in the pics by ABC to confuse. It's not all ABC is guilty of. Go here to Reality Steve. I totally believe him. I've always known that the producers mess with the contestants, but I would never have believed that they would go so far as to have Jason propose to one woman when he knew all along he was going to dump her.

This next pic is just too embarrassing for words.

For a fun take on it all, go check out the video on Kwana's blog.

Bachelor Conspiracy Theory

Call me cynical but if there's a conspiracy theory, I'm in.

It doesn't matter what the theory is about, or whom, or whatever, but like the old saying goes, If there's smoke, there's fire. Unless of course, the conspiracy theory involves me. Then it's wrong.

It's been my painful duty to have to burst the bubble of those I work with and who also watch The Bachelor along with me (but someone has to do it). It's been fun these past years playing Tuesday morning love quarterback and speculating on who's getting a rose, etc. But what's going to happen tonight in the BIGGEST season finale ever is just plain wrong. And, I hope, the demise of the show. Because really, don't most of us dupes tune in to see a romance? And from what I've been reading, there really WAS a romance this season, but the producers decided to hide it from us and instead give us DRAMA. They're finally going to produce on their continual silly promise to give us the most dramatic rose ceremoney evah.

I mean, I know it's reality TV, which means it's not. But regardless of what happens I've always believed that the final person is who the Bachelor/Bachelorette thought was the best of the 25 and whether they ended up engaged or even dating for just a week, or not picking anyone at all (as in Brad's season) that part of the show was at least semi-honest.

Now, according to Reality Steve this season has been one big scam from the beginning. And I really liked Jason, with his pitiful soulful eyes and his "It's all about his son" spiel. And while I have nothing against Molly, if Melissa is really being duped, like I think she is, then I truly feel sorry for her. On the other hand, maybe Melissa has been a part of it all from the beginning. Who knows?

I just know that unfortunately, I'll have to rubberneck tonight's finale episode. I just won't be able to look away.